The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
