I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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