Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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