So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
