I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
