There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
