Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
