Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
