Only a mothe r could love this liver
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
