yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
how does that bad decision feel?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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