I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
