Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was like getting head from an anaconda
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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