As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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