i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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