I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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