Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The beers last night were like the tears from god
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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