u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
