oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
