just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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