Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
