then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it was like having sex with a tree stump
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
