margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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