She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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