i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
