I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize