I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
