we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
