I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
