I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
