Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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