there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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