spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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