her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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