i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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