You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
