Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize