Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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