So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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