we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
