Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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