I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
