i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
