I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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