Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
