I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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