census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
