It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
