I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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