You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
