ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
