I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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