I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
