I love black thongs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
