It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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