She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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