When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Panties = found
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
