I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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